


But If You Want To, You Can Hold Me When It's Dark

by i_amthecosmos



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: First Time, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Sharing a Bed, barely even there, trope bingo, very light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 07:37:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1183626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_amthecosmos/pseuds/i_amthecosmos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Harry share a bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But If You Want To, You Can Hold Me When It's Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Harry is about 17 here. No beta, no Brit-pick. Sorry. First 1D story, let me know how you like it.

“It’s one bed.” Harry’s voice was as flat as it got, and Louis shrugged.

“So, we spent X Factor in bunks right next to each other. How is this different? It’s just a bed. You can sleep with me, it’s not a problem. Is it?” Louis looked up at Harry, who blushed and shook his head. “Good, it better not be Styles.” He went to get his toothbrush, wondering what the deal was. Harry was one of the most shameless people he’d ever met, and he’d made friends with him faster than anyone else in his life. And they’d slept together before, he was sure of it. Hadn’t they? He knows he’s slept with Zayn.

Louis wasn’t very good at keeping his internal monologues internal, and he figured he should pick at Harry until he told him. He poked his head out of the bathroom, toothbrush in hand, to see Harry already in bed. “Oh, never mind then.” Harry looked pretty cozy, his curls peeking out of the covers, and Louis went back to brushing his teeth. When he was done, he stripped down to his pants and pulled on a t-shirt. “You sleeping naked with me Styles?” All he could see was Harry’s bare chest.

“No. Got my boxers on.” Harry already sounded tired, near to sleep, and Louis climbed in next to him and shut off the light. “Night Tommo.” 

“Night.” Louis automatically curled towards Harry, then froze. “Sorry.” He moved so he wasn’t crowding Harry, since suddenly Harry seemed to care about personal space, and tried to go to sleep. It took a few minutes, nervousness from the tour they were just starting crowding his mind. Harry seemed to knock out right away, and Louis let Harry’s insistent snores lull him to sleep. 

“Ah.” 

Louis blinked, still mostly asleep. He was warm, the bed was warm, and he liked it, it felt good, he needed to fall back asleep…

“Louis.” 

Louis blinked again. He was warm because he was wrapped around Harry, his arms and legs intertwined with Harry’s, and his face in Harry’s neck. “Oh.” He moved his hips back, and-oh. He was hard as well, cock pressed right against Harry’s arse. “Shit. Sorry Harry.” He untangled himself from Harry and moved to the edge of the bed, putting as much space between them as he could. “I’m sorry. I could, you know, room with Liam if you want me too.”

“No.” Harry sounded different, his voice breathy and oh, maybe Louis wasn’t the only one with a hard-on. “You can stay, it’s all right. It’s just kind of weird for me.” He couldn’t see Harry very well in the dim room, but he could hear his embarrassment, and Louis didn’t like it at all. “It’s just me, okay? It’s not your fault.”

“What’s the problem?” Louis turned on the lamp and came over and cuddled Harry to him. “We do this all the time, we touch all the time. I’ve even snogged you. It’s just what we do. So why is this different?” Louis pulled back a little and he saw Harry chew his bottom lip until his mouth opened and he said-

“I’m a virgin.” 

Louis didn’t say anything, he didn’t know what to say, until Harry dropped his eyes and started to squirm. “Hey, hey, no. Sorry, I couldn’t think of what to say-really? You’re like, the most handsome boy ever, next to Zayn,” That got him a chuckle. “It hasn’t happened for you yet?” 

“No. That thing with Caroline-that was just for publicity.” Louis nodded because he knew that, he could tell even though he’d been thrown into the world of celebrity head-first with no warning. He might be a dumb kid from Doncaster but he knew a beard when he saw one. He put his focus back on Harry. “I just…like you said, it hasn’t happened for me. And I want boys, not girls, so it’s going to be harder.” 

“Yeah, bit harder,” Louis said, thinking about it. They could probably have any girl they wanted, any of them, and Louis was sure that the boys would be lining up for Harry as well. But actually pulling them…yeah, bit of a problem. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to tease you. I’ll stay on my side of the bed if you want.” Not that he’d meant to cuddle Harry, but he could at least try. “But I have to ask-why does it bother you now?” With all the near and complete nudity, the cuddling, and general closeness, this did seem a bit sudden. 

“It’s just…” Harry didn’t finish it, and Louis stared at him. “I guess I like you.” Oh. Well, that was almost anti-climatic.

“Oh.” As far as reactions go, Louis thought this one was pretty stupid. “I mean, I’m sorry. That I was all over you.” Harry stared through him and Louis wanted to kick the shit out of himself. 

“Yeah. It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to.” Harry was still looking down, and Louis felt a pull towards him, something he didn’t want to name but couldn’t help acting on. He tipped Harry’s face up, and before he could think about it too much, kissed him.

Harry went still, didn’t react at all, and just when Louis was about to pull back and apologize, Harry kissed back, putting a hand on the back of Louis’s neck and holding him there. He kept Louis hostage, taking his mouth, not letting him up for air until finally he pulled off. “Shit,” Louis said, because he should’ve known better to start something with Harry that he might not have thought through. 

“You shouldn’t pity me like that.” Louis opened his mouth to respond because what the fuck, how dare Harry accuse him of that, but Harry just looked scared and small and all Louis wanted to do was kiss that expression off his face.

So he did, biting Harry’s lip and then pulling back. “Not pity. I’d never pity you.” Louis might be feeling a lot of things right now, but pity wasn’t among them.

“You having a sexuality crisis Tommo?” Harry was below him now, Louis on top, somehow, and pinning Harry to the bed by his shoulders. Louis pulled off, biting at Harry’s lip before letting go.

“Already had it, ages ago. It’s a good story, I’ll tell you sometime.” Harry’s mouth moved but Louis pressed his to it before Harry got a chance to talk.

Harry cried out and arched up when Louis pinched his nipple, and Louis grinned against his neck. Then he pulled off again, admiring the way Harry looked, wide eyes in a pale face, looking scared and excited and very, very turned on. “How far do you want this to go?” 

Harry stared up at him, not saying anything, and Louis started to think that maybe he pushed him too far, that he’d finally found Harry’s limit. Then Harry’s tongue poked out between his lips, wetting them, and he said “Just don’t hurt me.” 

“Jesus fuck, Harry.” Louis didn’t give Harry any more warning, just kissed him again, hard, biting at his mouth, and then he started moving down. Harry arched and moaned and pulled his hair as he sucked over his nipples, and he whined when Louis started pulling his pants off, arching again to help as Louis got rid of them. “I’m gonna suck you,” he said, and he moved down, Harry’s hand still in his hair. 

“Do it. Please. Please Lou.” Harry sounded wrecked, and Louis hadn’t even done anything. He looked up at Harry, his eyes closed now, head tipped up, and he put one hand on Harry’s cock, sliding back the foreskin, before he then took him in his mouth. 

“Yeah.” Louis looked up at Harry, but Harry’s eyes were still closed, and he was biting his lip as Louis sucked his cock, bobbing down further. Harry hitched his hips up once, and Louis pushed them back down with his other hand. Harry froze, keeping his hips still. Louis thought he heard Harry moan, but he couldn’t be sure.

“That’s it, be good,” Louis said before going down again. Louis wasn’t the best cocksucker in the world, but he’d done this enough times to have a good idea what Harry would like. He took Harry further, and he moved his other hand to his cock and squeezed. Harry pulled at his hair and he winced, pulling off. “Yeah, what?”

“Can you…if you want. Do you have stuff?” 

“You want me to fuck you?” Harry didn’t say anything, just shrugged as if losing his virginity in a hotel room was no big deal. “Harry, you need to tell me. Are you sure?” Harry looked up at him then, big eyes pleading up at him and yeah, he didn’t have a chance, did he?

“I’m sure. If you can, if you want to…then I want to.” 

“All right. I might, let me check.” He got off the bed and stumbled to his bag, feeling on edge, shucking his pants on the way. Harry didn’t react much when Louis threw the lube bottle and condom on the bed, only looking up at him when Louis crawled between Harry’s legs. “Okay love,” he said, and he squeezed a little of the lube on his fingers. “Breathe.” 

Louis watched Harry as he pressed a finger in, waiting for him to hiss or frown or show any sign that maybe this was too much. But Harry only closed his eyes and spread his legs apart even further, tempting Louis to do more, to just take, and not worry so much. When he leaned down and licked over the head of Harry’s cock, that got him a long moan, and he could feel it in his dick, he wanted to be inside Harry so much right then.

When he’d gotten two fingers inside, Harry shook his head. “No. More, more. Come on Lou, fuck me. No more fingers.” 

“Are you sure?” Louis twisted his fingers, and Harry arched up. 

“I’m sure. Please.” Louis could stand up to almost anyone, but Harry got everything he wanted, he learned that early on. 

“I just don’t want to hurt you,” he said. He had tried, there was proof he had tried in those words, he thought as he eased his fingers out. “All right, hold on.” It took forever to open a condom when you needed one, but he got it on and slicked up before Harry got too annoyed at him. “Get a pillow, put it under your hips.” Harry did what he was told and Louis fumbled into place, holding one of Harry’s legs up as he pushed the head in. “Fuck. You’re tight.”

“I fucking told you,” Harry said, and his words were rushed together. Louis looked down at him and Harry’s forehead was furrowed, looking caught somewhere between pain and concentration. “It’s…Louis…”

“Just tell me if you’re okay.” Louis couldn’t get in much further, Harry was tight and it felt like he was almost pushing Louis out. “If you can, breathe in and out slow. It’ll help. Or if you want, I can stop.” 

“I’m okay,” Harry said, and Louis watched as he gripped the sheets hard and took a long breath in, and then out. After the third exhalation Louis felt Harry relax enough that he could push in a little further. “Oh. Oh God.” One of Harry’s hands let go of the sheet and wrapped around Louis’s hip. “Okay?”

“Of course, Harry.” Louis tried to keep his voice steady, but he was screwing Harry, for real now, rocking his hips back and forth, and it was almost too much to handle. “Harry you’re fucking tight, I’m not going to be able to last.” Harry looked up at him, face red and a little blotchy, and he laughed. 

“I don’t care, you can come if you need to Lou.” Harry moved then, arching up as Louis thrust in and that was it, Louis was coming, shaking and trying not to cry out. 

“Jesus Christ,” he said, panting, and Harry made a sound being a laugh and a moan. “Are you all right?” Louis felt in between them, and Harry’s cock was about half-hard. “Are you-did you like it? Did it hurt?” Leave it to him to fuck up taking Harry’s virginity, that’s all he needed. 

“’M fine,” Harry said, and one of his big hands came up and brushed over his jaw. “I did, it was kind of weird, but it didn’t really hurt. I still liked it. It’s okay.” His thumb brushed over Louis’s lips, and Louis wondered why someone so fantastic would want to be with him for his first time. Louis didn’t say that, just pulled out and got rid of the condom, leaving Harry on the bed.

“You still haven’t come.” Harry didn’t answer, just wrapped a hand around his half-hard dick and stroked it, somewhat disinterested. “You want me to do that?” Louis looked at Harry’s cock, red and pretty big, and he wanted to get his hand on it, or his mouth. 

“Yeah, come back here.” Louis did as he was told, curling up on his side. He felt around for the lube bottle and squeezed a little on his hand before wrapping it around Harry’s dick. “Ah, yeah, that’s…” Harry closed his eyes, his head dropping back on the pillows as Louis worked him over. He tried to make it good, twisting his wrist and thumbing over the head, and Harry bit his lip as he got harder in Louis’s hand. 

“I want to see you come,” Louis said, his voice shaky, and Jesus this was so much for him, Harry was so much. Louis felt like he’d done a lot as far as sex went, but Harry was so giving, so pliant and good, that it got under his skin. He should have known that Harry, irresistible at the best of times, would nearly kill him when it came to sex. “Please. Please come for me.”

“Lou…” Harry arched up into Louis’s touch and came all over his stomach and Louis’s fist. Harry turned his head as he came, burying his face in Louis’s shoulder, and Louis kissed his curls, not knowing what else to do. “Thank you,” Harry said, and his voice sounded suspiciously shaky. 

“Don’t cry, love,” Louis said as he pulled back. “It’s all right. I’ll get a flannel, we need to clean up. It’s all right.” Louis got up again and stumbled to the bathroom. Now he was half-hard just from watching Harry, and it would be kind of awkward if he could bother to care. He got the flannel and came back to clean Harry off.

Harry was sitting up and wiping at his eyes when Louis came back. “Why are you crying love?” he said as he wiped Harry’s stomach. Harry shrugged and Louis didn’t press it. After a minute, Harry gave him a shaky smile and Louis knew he was all right. 

“Now we’re going to try to sleep again,” Louis said, turning off the lamp and getting in bed with Harry. Harry curled around him this time, and as much as Louis normally would bitch about being the little spoon, he went with it, liking Harry’s arms around him. “Thanks. For trusting me with that.”

“Wasn’t worried,” Harry said, his voice deep and sleepy. “Knew you’d take care of me. Thought about it before.” Then there was a huge yawn, and before Louis could ask any nosy questions about exactly when Harry was thinking about them fucking, he heard a snore. 

Well then. Louis closed his eyes, letting Harry’s warmth lull him into sleepiness. He wondered if they would do that again, and he hoped so, but it wasn’t the time to wake him up and ask. He fell asleep soon after, even with Harry snoring in his ear.

The alarm seemed to go off five minutes later, and Louis jerked awake. “Fuck.” Harry was on top of him, basically, and he snuffled in Louis’s ear and seemed to fall back asleep. “No Harry, we have to get up. Which means you have to get up. So, do it.” Harry rolled over and Louis escaped and headed to the bathroom. He really did have to piss. 

Harry wandered into the bathroom when he was done, still naked, and started the shower. Louis was messing with his hair when Harry stuck his head about past the shower curtain. “Hey. Want to join me?” Louis looked over at him, but Harry didn’t look much different than before last night. Harry offering to share a shower wasn’t much out of character.

“Sure,” is all he said, and he hopped in with Harry. Harry immediately gave him the soap and set about washing his hair. They showered in silence, and Louis wondered if Harry was going to say anything about last night. So far there was no this was a mistake or do you want to date now or anything in between. It was just…normal. As if they’d been doing this since they met.

Louis rinsed his hair and didn’t think about that.

They went through the whole day of promo, interviews, and the show without getting a chance to talk. Harry stuck by his side most of the day, which wasn’t strange either, it was what they did, and Louis just wished they could fucking talk. They’d fucked, and Harry had cried when he came, and then…well, what next? He wished he could just talk to Zayn about it, but if he didn’t have time to talk to Harry then he didn’t have time to unload on Zayn either.

Finally, at the end of the night, they got on a bus and went to a different place. Louis curled up in his bunk, too tired to sit up front with the others. He just needed to rest. And to stop thinking. 

“Hey Lou.” Louis opened his eyes. Of course, there was Harry. Harry looked even taller from this angle, and awkward, scratching his head and staring down at him, expression so serious it was almost funny. “Do you want to talk? I mean, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, come here.” Louis scooted over in his bunk and Harry managed to fit himself in, folding into the tiny space. “I just didn’t have a chance, before.” 

“I know.” Harry dropped a small kiss on his cheek. “So, what do you want to say?” 

“I…don’t know,” Louis said, and Harry seemed to stiffen up, wary. “I mean, I just don’t know. Like, this should be a big deal and all, and we should be either thrilled or freaked out or something, but it just feels like…it feels normal. Like we’ve been doing this for months.”

Harry didn’t say anything at first, then he moved his head so Louis could see his smile spread over his face. “I’m glad. That you thought that too. I was scared it was just me.” Harry paused again, then looked at Louis’s lips. “So, can I…”

“Just fucking snog me Harry,” Louis said, and he laughed as Harry kissed him, the noise muffled by Harry’s mouth. “That’s my boy,” he said when they broke apart, and he curled his fingers in Harry’s hair.

“Yes,” Harry said, and that was all he needed to say, really.


End file.
